How do I tell my children that I am a lesbian (or gay, or trans!)? 4 practical tips

20 Jun · General


In today's society, more and more people feel free to live their sexual identity openly and honestly. For those non-straight moms and dads who, for whatever reason, haven't always been open about their sexual orientation with their kids, the question "How do I tell my kids I'm LGTBIQ+?" it can be a challenge. At Copaping, we believe that everyone should experience their home and family as a safe place to express their gender and sexual orientation. Whether you've been living in the closet until recently or have simply decided to wait to come out as you are, we also believe it's important to handle this very important conversation with care and sensitivity.

1. Preparation: the first step towards the conversation

Before talking to your children, it is essential to be sure of your decision and feel comfortable with your identity. After all, if you feel safe and positive, it will be easier to pass those feelings on to your children. And, if they didn't know anything until now, they probably have questions for you.

It is important to take into account the age and maturity of the children. The little ones may not fully understand concepts such as 'homosexuality' or 'LGTBIQ+', so it may be appropriate to accompany them with simple terms and explanations adapted to their level of understanding. Remember that the ability to accept what you explain to them is also usually enormous in children, and that the new generations have many references both in children's series and in the latest Disney films, so calm down!

2. Choosing the right time and place

Pick a quiet time and place to have the conversation. Avoid times of stress or significant changes in your child's life. You want them to feel safe and comfortable so that they can lend information to the information that you are going to give them.

3. Honesty and naturalness

Honesty is crucial. However, you must express your feelings and explain your sexual orientation in a way that is understandable according to the age of your children and always naturally. It is important that they understand that we are all different, and that within that diversity you are in that particular place. For example, if you have decided to explain it because you have found a partner of the same sex, depending on the age, it may be useful to show them the various pairs of wedding dolls that are in pastry shops, where very often we see hetero, lesbian and gay couples. .

You should be prepared to answer their questions and make sure they understand that you can answer all of their concerns in the future.

4. Focus on love and respect

Remind them that you will always love them and that nothing changes at all, they just know you a little better now.

Also, take advantage of this conversation to teach them about diversity and respect for all sexual orientations. This is a perfect time to foster empathy and understanding in them.

At Copaping we understand that each family is unique. Our community is alive, and don't forget that we have a forum to provide a space for user-to-user conversations for those parents who are navigating these types of situations. We believe in the importance of diversity and inclusion, and we are committed to helping all families grow in an environment of love and respect. Because, after all, love is what makes a family.