In a co-parenting relationship, as in any other relationship, it may be the case that the woman is infertile and therefore, a solution will have to be found to achieve the desired pregnancy. In this situation, the alternative is clear, egg donation will be the best ally.
This assisted reproduction treatment is known as Egg Donation and offers the opportunity to have a child for women who cannot gestate an embryo on their own. This procedure is based on performing an in vitro fertilization with the eggs of a donor and the sperm of the future co-father, in this case.
Here are some important things to keep in mind about egg donation.
Genetic duel, what is it?
The process of accepting that the children born by egg donation may not share the same genes as the mother is known as genetic mourning, although this does not mean that they are not her children after all phases of pregnancy. Without a doubt, it is a difficult process, but one that must be gone through.
In addition, it must be taken into account that genetics is a base, but not everything is conditioned by genes and development in the maternal womb. Values, education and the family and social context have a great role in the development of the child.
Are there more risks in pregnancy?
The truth is that the risks of pregnancy are exactly the same as if the pregnancy had occurred naturally or through other assisted reproductive techniques. There is no increased risk if the woman is a recipient of an egg donation.
Should I tell my son?
There is no 100% correct answer to this question, even so, at Copaping we believe that honesty and trust are always fundamental pillars for any type of bond, and of course, that includes the affective bond with your child.
In this case, the time and context to expose the reality are very important. It is essential that the child is prepared to face this fact in an assertive manner, and for this, perhaps they should wait for a point of maturity that is not found in childhood. Our advice is that you talk about it with the cofather or comother in question and assess when to tell them. There is no universal time to do it. What is clear is that information educates and taboo topics only help to create borders in our mental structures.
Furthermore, since your relationship will be based on a non-traditional family, and we understand that at some point you will have to explain how co-parenting works, we believe that exposing them to this type of conversation will encourage your child to have much more abstract thinking and therefore , that it is easier for you to deal with him according to what topics.